Let the cat make the first move. Don’t come to me and expect me to rejoice. I will come to you – on my own terms and in my own time. When I meet a new human, I know immediately whether he’s a cat person. If he pets me and suffocates me with hugs, yuck! It’s so over. But if he ignores me or is allergic or terrified, I find him irresistible. Unlike indiscriminate dogs, a cat likes a challenge. Always let the cat make the first move, or suffer the consequences.
Be polite. If I bring you a dead rodent, I expect thanks. If you’re not in the mood for a rodent, get in the mood. Appropriate responses: scratching behind my ear, praising me and putting the gift on some sort of pedestal or perhaps in a well-lit china cabinet.
Do I look like I need a dog? I appreciate that you’re thinking of me, but seriously, a dog? Why not just throw me in a barrel of drool and roll me in fleas? The dog that licked your face just rinsed down the litter box treats with toilet water. Yummy.
Learn the language. A faint meow when you’re petting me means “That’s nice; you may continue.” A long, drawn-out meow means “I’m hungry – feed me or I’ll poop in the bathtub.” A low, throaty meow means “My litter box is most unpleasant.” A hissing meow is “You idiot, you’re standing on my tail!”
14 to 18 hours a day of napping is normal. I’m not lazy, depressed or narcoleptic. I’m tired. You would be, too, if you had as much on your mind as I do.source : reader's digest, nov 2009
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