Funny swine flu video

Eye on the Flu Shot

What goes into that flu shot (the hilarious version)

If it is in the newspaper, it must be true

What were these news reports and ads trying to say?

"Quack! Quack! I am fine, quack!"

Must be something to make infants out of burritos.

Wow! That must have been some show of enthusiasm!

What else is new?

Good excuse for not sending the card. Blame it on the mail for losing it.

Oops! Wrong coin.

Full marks for the camouflage job!

Can you hear? I am clapping with one hand!

A million dollar question

How's that again?

Round-down?

Feline Funk

Before you envy your house cat’s lounging lifestyle, consider: Constant napping could be a sign of depression. As many as 40 per cent of felines fall into funks out of sheer boredom, says Nicholas Dodman, director of the Tufts University animal-behaviour clinic. Why? Cats are safer indoors – away from cars and dogs – but the soft life can be downright dull. Signs of depression include overeating, lax grooming and sleeping at daybreak, when they should be up and hunting.

It doesn’t take a kitty shrink to cheer up your cat, just attention:

Play with your cat every day, even if he doesn’t seem interested at first. “It’s a misconception that cats are antisocial,” says Dodman. “Some need just as much attention as dogs.”

Engage predatory impulses with interactive toys such as feathers on a string or laser-mice toys.

Provide climbing towers and scratching poles to keep your cat from climbing the walls (or curtains).

Get your cat a pet to watch, like a gerbil, or put a bird feeder outside the window. Or, for the kitty who has everything, try a cat video. Pet AVision (cattv.com) offers the adventures of Larry Lizard, Freddy Fish and Betty Bird.

source : reader's digest, aug 2007

Cat Cafes for cat lovers

source : reader's digest, nov 2009

Garfield's Good-Life Guide

You never really own a cat. You can only make him happy and hope he won’t leave you for someone better, like the pizza guy. Here are some morsels of advice:

Let the cat make the first move. Don’t come to me and expect me to rejoice. I will come to you – on my own terms and in my own time. When I meet a new human, I know immediately whether he’s a cat person. If he pets me and suffocates me with hugs, yuck! It’s so over. But if he ignores me or is allergic or terrified, I find him irresistible. Unlike indiscriminate dogs, a cat likes a challenge. Always let the cat make the first move, or suffer the consequences.

Be polite. If I bring you a dead rodent, I expect thanks. If you’re not in the mood for a rodent, get in the mood. Appropriate responses: scratching behind my ear, praising me and putting the gift on some sort of pedestal or perhaps in a well-lit china cabinet.

Do I look like I need a dog? I appreciate that you’re thinking of me, but seriously, a dog? Why not just throw me in a barrel of drool and roll me in fleas? The dog that licked your face just rinsed down the litter box treats with toilet water. Yummy.

Learn the language. A faint meow when you’re petting me means “That’s nice; you may continue.” A long, drawn-out meow means “I’m hungry – feed me or I’ll poop in the bathtub.” A low, throaty meow means “My litter box is most unpleasant.” A hissing meow is “You idiot, you’re standing on my tail!”

14 to 18 hours a day of napping is normal. I’m not lazy, depressed or narcoleptic. I’m tired. You would be, too, if you had as much on your mind as I do.

source : reader's digest, nov 2009

Halloween - dogs

Why dogs don't like Halloween!


















source : urlesque.com

Halloween - stunning pumpkin carvings

Ordinary pumpkins transformed into artful masterpieces!

Twins

In 2008, the infamous Michigan carver dubbed as the "Pumpkin Bumpkin" created this version of pumpkin Siamese twins. Photo courtesy of ExtremePumpkins.com.

Hallowiener

Filled with an oversized frankfurter and standard toppings, like chilli, cheese and relish, this extra-long pumpkin from Halloween 2007 isn't edible, but makes for a good laugh. Photo courtesy of ExtremePumpkins.com

Sandemon

Famous Canadian sand and snow sculptor David Bradley Billings decided to take a stab at pumpkin carving and in 2005 created this spooky fellow, called the “Sandemon.” Photo courtesy of ExtremePumpkins.com.

The Burger Pumpkin

Tom Nardone, author of Extreme Pumpkins, created this whopper of a burger using three pounds of beef, eight slices of cheese, tomato slices, lots of lettuce and pumpkin seeds for the “bun.” Photo courtesy of ExtremePumpkins.com.

Statute of Liberty

Texas-born Scott Cummins aims to create carvings that look as realistic as possible. This 2007 pumpkin carving of Lady Liberty shows just how sharp his knife skills are. Photo courtesy of Scott Cummins via PumpkinGutter.com.

Chewbacca

Also created in 2007 by Scott Cummins (a.k.a. the “Pumpkin Gutter”), this Chewbacca pumpkin takes carving to an entirely different galaxy—one far, far away. Photo courtesy of Scott Cummins via PumpkinGutter.com.

Cats in the Window

This foam pumpkin, carved by Beckett Gladney with craft store materials, makes an easy canvas to carve—allowing for more detail (and less mess). Photo courtesy of Beckett Gladney via Flickr.com.

Winking Man

In 2007, Kathy Green attended the Malcolm Blue Farm Festival in Aberdeen, North Carolina and watched as this sly pumpkin was created by a carver who’s been in the business for over 20 years. Photo courtesy of Kathy Green via Flickr.com.

Love Birds

At last year’s Louisville Zoo’s annual Halloween festival, carver Donna dubbed her creation above “Love Birds,” but we think Hitchcock’s The Birds might be more appropriate. Photo courtesy of Mark Wells via Flickr.com.

Star Wars

Several years ago, Dayna Flores captured this carved Star Wars pumpkin collection while visiting Beloit, Wisconsin. The carver uses craft pumpkins and adds a new one to the series every year. Photo courtesy of Dayna Flores via Flickr.com.

source : Womansday.com

Elephants in the hotel lobby

Elephants march through hotel lobby after it was built on their migration trail.

These amazing pictures show why you shouldn't get between an African elephant and its favourite food. Mfuwe Lodge in Zambia happens to have been built next to a mango tree that one family of pachyderms have always visited when the fruit ripens. When they returned one year and found the luxury accommodation in the way, they simply walked through reception.

The animals came in two-by-two: Hotel staff and visitors have got used to the elephants' impromptu strolls through reception. Now the family group, headed by matriarch Wonky Tusk, return every November to gorge on mangos - up to four times a day.

Andy Hogg, 44, director at the Bushcamp Company that runs the Lodge, has lived in South Luangwa National Park since 1982. But in all his years of dealing with wild animals he has never seen such intimate interaction between man and beast.

'This is the only place in the world where elephants freely get so close to humans,' says the 44-year-old. 'The elephants start coming through base camp in late November of each year to eat the mangos from our trees. When they are ripe they come through and they stay about for four to six weeks coming back each day or second day to eat the mangos.'

Living in the 5,000 square mile national park, the ten-strong elephant herd are led to the lodge each day by Wonky Tusk.

'The most interesting thing about this is that they are wild animals and are certainly not tame,' explains Andy. 'They come through the lodge to eat the fruit. There are ten in that herd and it is only that herd that comes through. It is a strange thing. The matriarchal in the herd is Wonky Tusk, and she brings the nine others through and they come and go as they please.'

Mfuwe Lodge consists of seven camps and the base camp is where the elephants come through. Employing 150 staff, the management of the lodge are happy to report that there have been no incidents involving the elephants to date.

'The elephants do get reasonably close to the staff as you can see with the pictures of the elephants near the reception,' he explains. 'But we do not allow the guests to get too close.'

'Guests can stand in the lounge are but as long as there is a barrier between the elephants and the guests that is okay,' he added. 'The elephants are not aggressive but you don't want to tempt anything as they are wild animals. It is the elephants choice to come into base camp and they have been doing it for the last ten years. There are other wild mango trees around and they seem to prefer this one.'

And even though the lodge was unwittingly built upon the path, Andy says they had no idea the elephants would insist on returning.

'It wasn't a design mistake - no-one really knew they were going to come through,' he says. 'The lodge was built and then the elephants started coming through afterwards.'

'We keep people at a safe distance. They are obviously close enough to see what is going on from pretty close quarters but we also make sure we have staff around to make sure the elephants don't get too close.'

'But as I said they are still wild and still dangerous. They are huge beasts and untamed. We have bricks and walls between the elephants and the guests such as the counter and other barriers to stop them getting to people and if they try to there is enough time for people to get away.'

Naturally, the lodge becomes a busier attraction for both elephants and guests during November time.

'We find that we get more people visiting us during the elephant migration because of the unique experience of being so close to wild animals in an unusual environment,' says Andy.
'But as I said this is a totally natural phenomenon, the elephants come here of their own accord and it is certainly a rare but magnificent sight.'


Let the porter grab your trunk: An elephant wanders through Mfuwe Lodge, in the South Luangwa National Park, Zambia
Migration route: The hotel was built directly in the path of the elephants' route to one of their favourite foods - mangos.


Gentle giants: The leader of the ten-strong herd is matriarch Wonky Tusk


Check-in: But it's unlikely the lodge has a room big enough for its elephant guests.

Mfuwe Lodge: The hotel is set in an idyllic national parkland.

Science - terminology as defined by students

Funny Science Test Mistakes Students Made

These are actual answers from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world.

“When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.”

“H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water”

“To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube”

“When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide”

“Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state”

“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”

“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.”

“Blood flows down one leg and up the other.”

“Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.”

“The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.”

“Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.”

“Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.”

“A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”

“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”

“The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.”

“The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.”

“The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.”

“The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.”

“A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.”

“The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.”

“A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.”

“Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception.”

“Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.”

“Germinate: To become a naturalized German.”

“Liter: A nest of young puppies.”

“Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.”

“Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.”

“Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.”

“Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.”

“Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives.”

“Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.”

“To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.”

“For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.”

“For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration.”

“For fainting: Rub the person’s chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.”

“For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.”

“For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.”

“To prevent contraception: wear a condominium.”

“For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.”

“To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.”

Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up here these days.

Lime is a green-tasting rock.

Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t why you should.

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there.

Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it’s brother against brother.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H’s as O’s.

Clouds are high flying fogs.

I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.

Wind is like the air, only pushier.

source : innocent english

History - origin

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".

But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw - piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a threshhold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to20leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous..

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer....

And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !

So . . . get out there and educate someone! ~~~ Share these facts with a friend...

Source : unknown

Foolhardy or gutsy?

The identity of the photographer in the photos is unknown.

I was simply stunned seeing this guy standing on this solitary rock in the Grand Canyon ...

The canyon's depth is 900 meters (3,000 ' ) here.

The rock on the right is affixed to the edge of the canyon and perfectly safe.

Watching this guy in his rubber thong sandals, burdened with a camera and a tripod

I asked myself 3 questions:

1. How did he climb that rock?

2.. Why not take that sunset picture from that rock on the right, which is perfectly safe?

3. How will he get back?

After the sun set behind the canyon's horizon he packed his things and prepared himself for the jump

This took about 2 minutes.

At that point he definitely had the full attention of the crowd.

This is the point of no return. After that, he jumped in his thong sandals & only having one hand free ... The canyon's depth is 900 meters (3,000 feet ) here.

You can see that the adjacent rock is quite a bit higher than where he is (& quite steep.)

He hopes to use his one free hand to grab on to the rock.

Look carefully at the photographer.

He is carrying a camera, a tripod and also a plastic bag ~ all on his shoulder or in his left hand.

He lands low on his flip flops ~ both his right hand and right foot slip away...

And at that moment I take this shot:

He pushes his body tight against the rock ~ waits for a few seconds, throws his stuff on top of the rock, then climbs up & walks away.

Source : unknown